One of the patterns and very common themes I encounter in working with female clients is what I will classify as “Mean Girls” Syndrome.
“Mean Girls” is the 2004 American teen comedy film which portrays female high school social cliques and the damaging effects they can have on girls. Rumors, secrets, and gossip lead to a plot of destruction and plan of revenge. Jealousy, trickery, retaliation, spitefulness, superficial, and abandonment are the key emotions played out.
But from experience with clients this storyline is not just a movie script. A client will describe a deep friendship with 2 or 3 girls in their peer group; a closeness seemingly akin to a sisterhood. But for some unknown or foreseen occurrence a complete flip, a betrayal and exclusion happens with possible expulsion from the group.
Deep emotional pain ensues with crying for months. Feelings of injustice, bitterness, resentment, inferiority, favoritism, loss of confidence is now embedded into the client’s unconscious from their implicit interpretation, a victim’s point of view.
A core belief about oneself is now bought into and established. From this all future friendships, love relationships, work relationships will be overlaid with this pattern.
One source of Mean Girls Syndrome also exists in the Mother/Daughter dynamic. For whatever reasons there develops contempt, competitiveness and jealousy.
Whenever an episodic event of Mean Girls passes through their life, the client is emotionally triggered opening up the painful old wounds of youth.
What the client does not realize is what created the wound is the past and is not real. All that’s real is right now. Therefore, their continuing condemnation is not rooted in something real, but based on emotional learnings from what happened.
100% of the time the client’s reaction is to hide from, ignore, or run from these emotions. Some will say “I just don’t go there” or “I have already dealt with it and moved on”. “It’s no longer a big deal.”
But it is a big deal as this hidden encounter of the past has manifested into an unconscious unseen pattern. They have given control and power over to the emotional pain and is destroying their life. This adopted core belief is now leading their internal self judgement and rejection. The hurt is engrained to the point that it’s actually used to condemn themselves.
In working with me, I have my toolkit of modalities that I use to lovingly and safely go back into their past, release that pain and replace it what I have the client desires. From there they are finally able to let go and begin to accept themselves as worthy of love and life. They now have the resources to move forward with peace, self-love and joy.
Randolph is a Mind Performance and Life Coach based in Washington DC/Worldwide. He is a self-described “Mind-Soul Mechanic” engineering new vibrant paths for his clients lives for their Wellness, Health, Relationships, Career and Sports Performance. www.randolphadair.com